Gay Soldier's Letter To President Obama

I read this article on CNN.com written by a gay soldier to President Obama.

I feel for him because he was discharged after a long distinguished career in the military just because he was gay.

This was one of the reason why I decided not to continue my military career.

It accurately summarizes the trails and tribulations that most of our gay and lesbians soldiers go through trying to balance a personal life while serving their country.

Book of the day: Nitewalker by Jocelynn Drake (the photo)

Book of the day: Nightwalker by Jocelynn Drake

A few weeks ago I heard that a highschool friend had published this fiction novel.  I am a few chapters into it and can already tell that I will be picking up the sequal.

Look for a review coming soon!

Guide To Puerto Vallarta, Mexico (Part 4): Where To Play

In the throws of all that is holy, one of the only reasons why we 'homos' travel half way across the world is to get away from the conservative restraints that our own country (wink, wink) has put on us and let out hair down. Most would be aghast if, in my last installment of this Mexican guide, I were not to mention some of night clubs where you can dance all night without the worry of waking up the next morning and dragging yourself into your mundane 9 to 5.

On any given night of the week, the club scene does not 'pop off'' until mid-night so if you do not want to wait that long to begin your night, you may want to check out either La Noche or Stereo.

Both places are hip, and play the latest in urban/hip hop music. Though they both are small, your ability to mingle with other vacationers without becoming offensive coupled with their great drink selection (mixed drinks and cervasas alike) make either of these venues a great jump off to the evening.

Puerto Vallarta prides itself has possession some of the most beautiful people in the world, and it is ever omnipotent at Club Manana. This semi enclosed dance club, fully equipped with a viewing platform elevated over a wading pool and a stage where you can either dance and watch a drop dead gorgeous Drag Queen impersonate Cher.

In addition, the club boasts of an indoor stage located in the rear and three separate bars where you can purchase libations making this a perfect spot to party.

As mentioned in previous posts, Puerto Vallarta has been popular with movie goers for decades, and, in recent years, has become one of the most sought out destinations in North America. I would definitely suggest visiting this ocean side resort town before you leave this world. Following this guide will not open the entire Pandora's box that Puerto Vallarta has to offer.

There is definitely more to see and do (no pun intended) in Puerto Vallarta then the above mentioned, but using these helpful hints and ideas, fun is sure to follow.

Guide To Puerto Vallarta, Mexico (Part 3): Where To Eat

In the third installment of my travel guide to the southern most country of our continent, we delve into where to satisfy you taste buds.

With a plethora of burrito stands splattered on the streets coupled with the current exchange rate of the Mexican peso to the American dollar (14 Peso to 1 dollar as of the day of release) you can minimally satisfy your appetite for just pennies on the dollar for no more than $3 to $5 (American).

For your daytime manage, you should definitely check out the beach chair side service provided to you at the Blue Chairs. For an afternoon of cocktails and a mid afternoon lunch and snack, you will leave the beach before heading out for the evening without spending more than $25!

It's gay infused sea-side location couple with its selection of fresh seafood and Mexican/American grub is a perfect addition to your margarita on the beach while you take in the glorious view that the ocean side spot has to offer.

If you are looking for a more flamboyant fare, you will want to sink your teeth into what you can find at the Kit Kat, a hip, upscale restaurant located in the midst of Puerto Vallarta's old town and just a block away from the beach. Definitely not a place to frequent every evening for dinner (entrees are around $15 American), this eatery is a perfect example of how a sleek, uptown New York bistro can find its niche in Mexico.

With appetizers as extravagant as those found in the most posh LA restaurants, and the eye candy which goes along very well with its décor, you will find this a perfect place to begin a night on the town.

Signs, Signs, Everywhere's A Sign

Just a few snap shots of the multi-tude of signage on my walk home from work.

What in the world would we do without them?

Guide To Puerto Vallarta, Mexico (Part 2): Where To Stay

Only second to air fare, where you rest your head takes up most of the time when it comes to planning your trip. To us gay men, the three most important questions that we think about when deciding on which hotel to book are the following:

- How close it the hotel to the beach?

- Is there an open bar located in the hotel lobby?

- How attractive are the pool boys?

Though these are top concerns for most gay men, I am a bit more frugal than some of my counterparts. So when choosing a hotel I settled for looking at its proximity to the beach, price of the hotel and hotness of the cabana boy (I make my own drinks, thank you very much).

For those who are looking for a safer, high end stay, you will find your best find with Blue Seas Beach Resort. Located steps away from the famous gay portion of Puerto Vallarta's beach front, for a price range of $180 to $235 (American) per night you can stay in a hotel that claims to be the only luxury beach front hotel catering to the gay and lesbian community in Puerto Vallarta.

For those who are looking to stay in a place with a bit more "naughty" clientele, the Vallarta Cora is the place to lay your head. For a not so subtle fee of $85 to $120 (American) per night, and with its combination of hotel, bar and 'men only' spa, one would not have to leave the premises to satisfy all of one's needs (unless of course you wanted to eat, but who needs to do that).

For an even mix of the two extremes mentioned above, my best pick would be Boana Torres Malibu. Its location is just steps away from the afore mentioned Blue Seas Hotel, coupled with its affordable rates (ranging from $45 to $190 American per night) and on site swimming pool make it a great spot for any gay minded individual wanting to make the most of their visit (and the pool boy is not half bad looking either).

Guide To Puerto Vallarta, Mexico

Made famous more than four decades ago with Elizabeth Taylor's infatuation for this seaside oasis, over the years Puerto Vallarta, Mexico has morphed into a vacation destination, with its popularity mostly lying with North Americans. This, coupled with its location on Mexico's western coast and its close proximity to cities such as Guadalajara, make it one of the most desired vacation destinations in the world.

These facts have not been lost on the gay Cincinnatians. With our love of tropical locations and scantily clad male genitalia, coupled with out afinity of spending our summer months at indoor water parks (isn't that a oxymoron?), Puerto Vallarta has quickly risen to one of the most sought out destinations for us to let down our hair and let loose from some of the conservative mentalities found in the States.

As with many tourist spots, Puerto Vallarta is not unlike them when it comes to cheesy attractions and shifty eyed con-men, but the following will serve as the gay men's guide to navigating the city of Puerto Vallarta the next time that you decide to visit. In turn, by following this guide found in the next few day's posts, your next Mexican vacation may very well find yourself in the arms of a bronzed behemoth on the sandy beach rather than in a cold damp prison cell.

PrideLove Cincy Auction @ Below Zero

Last night I was auctioned off @ Below Zero and all benefits went to Stop AIDS.

OK...I did not reel in the more than respectable $200 that one of the other auctionees did, but I guess $45 is nothing to shake a stick at...lol

It's Been Awhile...

I know I have not been updating my blog as often as I should be.

The past few weeks have been crazy!

Volunteering for STOP AIDS,

Polishing of some chapters in both my fiction and non-fiction books,

And

Handling the influx of new clients of my start-up company, due to the slumping economy is all keeping me a bit occupied.

But don't fear....a new blog post is i the works and more will follow

OTR's Delima/Blessing

In this morning’s Cincinnati Enquirer, there was a great article about how suburban parents are toting the Q’s recent developments. The article went on to boast that it is mostly young, first time home buyers who are making the big purchase.

I can’t say enough about how much I love to see this once dilapidated part of Vine Street thriving with excited young property owners and vibrant business. There are a few things that worry me about the quick development of the area:

1. How does this urban revitalization affect the lower income residents?

Some of the reasons that OTR has been looked down upon by suburbanites is because of the over abundance of low income housing which populate this area. Historically, a low income environment fosters an environment of crime, but in my experience, criminals who reside in low income areas tend to be in the minority, with the majority of inhabitants being law abiding citizens. Will the Q’s gentrification efforts be detrimental to the low income non-homers who already reside there?

2. What are business / organizations doing capitalize on this influx of new home owners?

As stated before, a majority of the people gobbling up new condos in The Q are young, professionals (sans children) who are rebelling from their suburban up-bringing. But what will we do when they decide to raise a family? Though there is a plethora of charter schools in the area, there are few Cincinnati Public schools (one being a magnet school) and only one choice for a grocery store. You would think that one of the largest grocers in the world would have a higher expectation for their first location than predicting that it will lose money (yeah, I am calling you out Korger's).

3. Where is everyone going to park?

With this influx of residents, along come their vehicles. This coupled with the nontraditional opposition to the streetcar initiative from the NAACP, and the in ability to get bike lanes or scooter parking spaces on the street will cause a cluster when all of the condos are fully occupied. I guess the alternative would be to develop OTR into a series of high rises and parking garages.

Maybe Cincinnati is working under the old adage that “If you build it, they will come”. It may have worked in the movie “Field of Dreams”, but honey, this is no silver screen.

Kindred and the Spirit of Black Women

There are a couple of sayings that are prevalent in our society. “Black Americans are the backbone of our society” another is, “Behind every great man, there is a great woman”. Taking these sayings into consideration, it could be concluded that Black women have had a large part in the establishment of family life in this country.

Octavia Butler exemplified this in her novel, Kindred (1979), with just a minimal number of characters. By the introduction of the slave character named Sarah and Alice in addition to the main character of Dana, Butler showed the great strife that Black American women have went through to keep their family together.

Sarah, a slave on the Weylin plantation was a dominant figure in the novel, established as being the one who worked in the cookhouse on the plantation. Dana, a woman of the 1970's was introduced to Sarah on her third visit to the past when Rufus, Dana’s past relative and heir to the Weylin plantation, unconsciously called her back to the past in order to help him after he fell out of a tree. Despite the presence of Rufus’ mother, Margaret Weylin, Sarah made sure that the household chores were in order and did not take care of her master’s household out of love or kindness, but out of the love for her own family's well being.

After having two of her children sold away from the Weylin plantation, Sarah did whatever she could to try to keep her last child, Carrie, close to her and away from the auction block. Sarah tried to keep what was left of her family by being obedient to her owner, bringing the first example of how Butler shows how Black women went through strife to keep their family together.

The next example can be fund in the the character development of Alice who was introduced in the novel early on. It was Dana’s second visit to the past where she was introduced to her, then a free Black, while patrols were accosting Alice’s mother and her husband. As Alice grew, Rufus began to take a liking to her, and eventually bought her. Rufus had children with her, and even though these children were half white, Alice still regarded them as part of her.

There was a point in the story where Alice had the impression that Rufus had sold her children away, causing her to become so distraught that she took her own life before she found out the truth that her children were still close to her. This example shows the ramifications that are brought on to a person when their family is broken apart. Alice saw that her duties as a Black woman had been usurped with the “selling off” of her children, becoming so heart broken from this that she thought it best to end her life rather than to continue living.


The next example of Black woman cherishing their family structure that Bulter gave to her reader is brought to light with the character of Dana, a Black woman living in 1976. She is a modern woman and is married to a white man living in California, making her living as a writer. All of a sudden Dana started to be snatched back to the past and the reason of this displacement, Dana soon realized, was to ensure the survival of her heirs.

Dana was repeatedly compelled to save the life of Rufus, a white plantation owner, and also her relative, despite the repeated mental and physical abuse that was inflicted on her by him and his family. Bulter used Dana as the ultimate example of the way that Black women have been a major factor for keeping their family together. Dana endured the physical and mental abuse from the Weylin family when snatched back to slave days, not because wanted to, but because her entire family's survival was dependant on her strength.

My Own Stimulas Package...No Pun Intended

For the past few months, I have been getting Black Enterprise magazine delivered to my apartment. I am not sure how I got on their mailing list because I do not pay for it, but I am not complaining.

Not surprisingly, this month's issue focuses on the economy and ways that regular folks can save a few dollars here and there. The issue takes a look at the situations of families, singles (with and without children), divorcees, retired couples and even widows and shows them ways to save money in these tough economic times.

Though I have respect for BE, mostly due to the fact that I am an African American business owner (shameless plug: ION Consultants), they do have a way of perpetuating the Black community's blind eye towards gays.

I guess that is what I am here for.

Earlier in the year, I formulated a simple four step financial plan that will assist gays around the country in navigating through the economic downward spiral in which our nation will be facing in the upcoming months, while still keeping up with the Jones'.

Though mostly written in a satrical fashion, there are key points that can be used to save money.

Step One: Check Up On Your Checking Account

One way of saving a couple of duckets is to go through your checking or saving accounts and take a good inventory of all the automatic deductions that you have established. Do you really need to spend $45 a quarter for your Gay.com subscription? How about your Netflix account? I know
that $20 per month is not a lot to spend on three movies at any one time, but when was the last time you visited your local library? You know they have DVD's as well, and they are free. Not only that, they have those things that go on bookshelves. You could even learn a thing or two in the process.

Step Two: The Smaller The Better

It's not always the size that matters. Speaking of Netflix, if you simply cannot live without your subscription, how about cutting your movie delivery from 3 to 1 at a time? I am sure that the extra two movies will still be waiting for you in your que when you are ready for them. You can also take a good look at your cell phone bill. If you are paying for 600 minutes per month but only use about 250 minutes on average, maybe it's time to switch to a less expensive plan.

Another area to investigate is that of your gym membership, which I know you must have.

Ask your gym if there is a way to save on your monthly costs by only paying for a membership to one of the gyms in town instead of having the all inclusive package.

Step Three: Entertain Yourself

Get your mind out of the gutter bois. I am not saying become a hermit and only leave your apartment to go grocery shopping. What I mean is, take a good look at the money which you shell out each time that you have a night out on the town, and see where you can save a little bit of cash. It may be as simple as passing on one round of drinks or even guzzling down a domestic beer verses the expensive imported microbrew which you are accustomed.

Step Four:Put Your Money To Work

All that hard work to save money will do no good if you just go out and blow it all on a new pair $300 designer Seven jeans or your next trip to Cabo San Lucas. Why not make that extra cash start working for you? Explore some investment options that will foster financial returns such as money markets, certificate of deposits or savings accounts. For those who find that they have a bit more cash after the afore mentioned saving strategies, you may want to stash your cash into more lucrative investment ventures such as real estate or 401k plans.

By no way are these steps a complete and all encompassed financial strategy. There are several different variables which must be factored into your individual financial saving's equation. But, by taking these baby steps in the financial walk of life, with a little help with a professional financial advisor you will be sprinting to financial freedom in no time.

Must See Movies

I am not too much of a movie buff, meaning that I go to the movies maybe 4 times per year. I mostly just wait until I can order them via Netflix, pop in a bowl of popcorn and call it a night.

This being said, I am a sucker for sequels and prequels. For example, I seem to venture out to the theatre to watch every single new Harry Potter film. This will be the same for the following two films:

X-Men Origins



Star Trek (2009)

Can B-Boy Style Survive The Office?

For years, there has been a rift in the thought by some African-Americans as to what is professional dress. The sixties showed African American conforming to the social norms of the workplace. Straight-laced suits and ties fell strictly in line with their white counterparts.

The 70’s brought about a change, where afro’s and bell bottomed pants dominated the professional African American dress. This was mainly because of the radical Black Power and Civil Rights movements which was the love child of the turbulent fifties and sixties. The 80’s showed a return to more subdued professional dress of the African American male with the 90’s doing more of the same.

With the millennium came and resurgent of everything that was culturally relevant. African Americans felt more confident with themselves and were not as ashamed to relinquish our flare for color, style and glamour on the rest of the work.

The surprising thing was, the rest of the society thought the same way. Tommy Hilfiger, Donna Karen New York (DKNY) and other upscale designers saw that urban street where was not just adored on the street corner, but also embraced in the office place. This also led the way for many African American designers and labels to get their foot in the door.

One of our nation’s fastest rising and most visible African American fashion moguls is Sean ‘P.Diddy’ Combs. Combs’ clothing line “Sean Jean” was founded in 1998 and has taken on the likes of Tommy, Abercrombie, and Pierre Cardin in everything from sales to window time at Macy’s.

This line has become one of the most famous lines in hip-hop and un-arguably, that most famous launched by a celebrity, it was only a matter of time before the his hip and urban street savvy style surpassed it’s urban street personal and bombarded its way into the suits and styles of business life.

Russell Simmons is yet another established African American mogul who has taken the street wise street wear from the curb and and infused it into the business district. Some would say that being the older brother of Rev. Joseph Simmons, better known as "Run" of Run-DMC would have given him and ‘in’ on discovering what was hip. That is not entirely the case. Simmons has street credibility on his own right. He began his career by promoting such famous rap act as Kurtis Blow and went on to found Def Jam Records where LL Cool J and the Beastie Boys became famous.

Def Jam was not the only thing that made Simmons famous. Been only one of his many companies, Simmons established Rush Communications to umbrella a movie production house, management company, advertising agency and a clothing company called Phat Farm. Though the line is expensive it has found homage in the streets and has recently made its way into the boardroom.

My overall suggestion when it comes to incorporating you personal flair at your place of business is to be true to yourself without compromising professionalism.