The week has gone by surprisingly fast.
Mostly because my emotions have seen more ups and downs than a roller coaster. It tends to make the seven days stream by.
Most of the plans which I have made for the week have already fallen through. And after all I have complained about being un-wanted by others, it was I who flaked out and dropped the ball.
The only date which I was able to keep so far this week was with Byron on Monday night. I was even planning on "dissing" my cousin on his birthday, but I do not feel so bad about that one. Not only was it NOT his birthday on Wednesday, I don't ever remembering him doing anything for my special day.
Byron and I met in a public place downtown and chatted about our commonalities over cocktails. Because I had just left work, I scarfed down a cheese quesadilla while we chatted, probably not the best choice.
I found out about the death of his former lover (tragic) and some of the reasons why he choose The Queen City as home. In addition, he spilled the beans about his career and education goals and other past life experiences.
All in all it was a great date...sans sex.
I was soo nervous throughout the entire meeting that when we hugged good-bye outside of the restaraunt, not only did I step on Byron's foot, but our fore heads bumped during the embrace.
Smooth move Exlax!
Despite the fact that I was a complete doofus during the few hours that we chatted, Bryon sent me a post-date email thanking me for hanging out and expressed his desire to meet up again. And yes, he too noticed how nervous I was.
It all reverts back to Red, my current roomie and ex lover. Now we say we are on friends status, in the back of my mind, I guess that I think that one day we will get back together, but this wish/want is hindering me from experiencing life.
If anyone else has been in this situation, please hit me up and give me some pointers as to how to get out of this mind set. Trying to do it alone is wearing me down.
On a lighter note, I rescheduled hanging out with Mac for tonight, pushing movie night to the weekend (?). And the run in the park with Antonio will have to be sometime next week. Both guys made the effort to contact me and make sure that everything was OK.
I will not make the same mistake twice.