Monday, August 07, 2006

Don't You Take My Baggy Pants Away

As I dressed this morning, I was looking through my closet, trying to find a decent pair of pants to wear into the office. I had waited a bit too long to do the laundry and had to keep passing over pants that were either too large for me or were not appropriate for a day in the library. More than not, that pants that I over looked were too large for me.

Finially choosing a pair of black slacks that were hiding in the back of my closet, I jump into the car and headed down Sycamore street, only to be stoped while turning left onto Libraerty by a young looking man, who's tee shirt was as long as his entire body. Moving slower than molasses on a cold day, he used the bottom of his 5 ft long white T to wipe his forehead and upon lifting it showed that the waist of his pants were strangling his knees.

No wonder he was moving so slow!

Dont' get me wrong, I am all for expression of dress and, on some, a little bit of sag can be a bit sexy, but come on...

What if this saggy britched perp had to run away from a scorned lover, a jealous friend or, heavan forbidd, the Cincinnati Police!

They would stummble on the pant leg thier over-priced bottoms before he could try and make his escape.

Not to mention that when he walks, safe from having a belt on, he still has to use his two knees to keep his pants someway pulled up. Which makes him look as though he is auditioning for The March of the Penguins. Now that is what I call attractive.

I am not sure if this sag-wheelding, pants wearer is aware that he, potentially, could have health problems down the road if he continues to follow this fashion trend over a number of years (is this true?).

As the I passed the youngster, I peared in my rear view mirror to take another glance at him. He stopped just as he planted both of his feet on the side walk and reached into his pocket for something. I chuckeled to my self as I noticed that he had to bend almost 90 degrees to obtain the contains in is front right pocket.

If I had to bend over that far everytime I had to grab my cell phone from my pants pockets, I would be in more touble than a 16 year old twink who managed to sneak his way into the Goldon Lions.

As I crossed the Big Mac bridge, I glanced over to look and the Purple People Bridge and thought about some of the reasons why sportin' the sag is one urban fashion in Cincinnati that has not gone out of style.

For one thing, it IS a style. Everyone from the B-boys hanging out on a downtown street corner living downtown to college student with his nose burried ina textbook see this as style. So those who see them as role models, unsurprisingly, will try to immulate thier dress.

In a way, the excessive sag shows dominance and prowess. In the blue and white collor world, if your pants are too tight, you are seen as being too up-tight. I ever remember back in highschool, only nerds or the unpopular kids wore pants that fit properly. Fitted pants also convey a since of comformaty. Not to be pre judgemental (but you know I am going to anyway) nothing about the guy that was holding me up this morning as he crossed the street screemed that he was a conformer.

I love living downtown.

1 comment:

Ben said...

Perhaps he wears them for ease-of-removal when he visits his girlfriend....